I am the Fool

I feel so fricken foolish. How can I be so stupid, how can I have the audacity to partake in the sweet nectar of a death stick right in my backyard. I have been doing this for a long time, but why was I caught? Had I been more wary of my surroundings, had I been smarter and only did it outside of the confines of my home, then I would be living much more healthier and not in this fray. My mind is a mess right now. If anarchy could take home, it would be my mind. I cannot think straight and I have to rely on a blog to pen my thoughts. I am going crazy. The irony of the matter, is that since getting caught, I need one right now to calm my nerves. This is getting messier by the second. How can I be so stupid and not to mention foolish. My progress in my journey of amor has taken a side detour and that has thwart my route. My grandmaster planned scheme is not manifesting with such speed bumps. Sometimes, I question my very goal: do I really know what I want, why am I on this trip. This wordy mess is endless. Sigh Period.