Well, you know how when one becomes in so much emotional distraught, one finds (or at least tries to find) solace in penning their thoughts. I don't have an avenue like a written journal or a live and kicking blog, what I have is something that's dead and only appears when I feel this whirlwind of emotions inside me. This disappointment of myself and the line I crossed. And also the frustration I feel inside. Sometimes you question yourself, are you not good enough. Do you still need to do more to prove your worth? These questions go unanswered and positive reinforcement from the people around you may not help. These are questions that you need to remind yourself and these are the questions that push you harder in life. Remember, winning is measured not by how strong you are, how big you are, or how hard you hit. It is about how hard you get hit and how able you are to recover from getting hit.

I find uncertainty in my life. And these questions go unanswered. Blame me for being too cautious, but these questions are the ones that leave me confused and not knowing what the future holds. These are the questions that cause panic attacks leaving me breathless just before I sleep. I hate this feeling of uncertainty, and I hate the feeling that I am not sure. I am as cock sure when it comes to anything else, because I am not afraid to ask. But why does my guard keep on appearing? Is it because I am afraid of losing? It's heartening knowing that life just pulls the rug under your feet when you least expect. It shows how real the world is and what life is about. Getting hit, recovering and adapting. I look forward to the next heavy bag session.