You know how travelling to another place, a very secluded place where getting there involves a 2 hour flight, another few hours of ferry ride and then a bus ride, you know you can get hours alone to sort your thoughts. I guess Krabi for me would primarily be an outlet for me to really reach down and dig deep the skeletons in me. I need to do that, heed the advice of Jan to take a day, think through, and if it isn't worth it, to leave it all.

It is very different since drifting, I suppress my emotions and wean my conversations and also feelings start to wane and waver. I used to be so naive and tell myself that all that was done were part of a scheme to test my resilience. Now I've come to realise (and probably infer) that it was all not a scheme to test but lack of interest. I could be jumping to conclusions but that's just how it feels eh, at this point in time. Well school's about to start and it just gets weird and awkward. Without having school to start, saying Hi takes a lot of strength and nerve.

Haha, its wishful thinking but it would be good if I could live in that few weeks for just one more time.